Insuring That Our Children Will Live a Life of Torah
Written by Rabbi Daniel Yaakov Travis
((based on a derasha from
HaGaon Rav Moshe Sternbuch, shlita
Ravad of Yerushalayim)
Teaching Through Example
“Speak to the Kohanim the children of Aharon” (Vayikra 21,1)
Seemingly the Torah is telling us the obvious; we already know that the Kohanim are the children of Aharon. Chazal explain this pasuk means to tell us that first a person should first teach himself how to act properly. Only after he has accomplished this, can he then convey this message to his children.
Teaching through example is a fundamental principle in the chinuch. Our children must see us acting according to the high moral and ethical standards that the Torah teaches. If they witness a living example of the beauty of the Torah's ways, they will naturally follow in that path.
From the parsha of ben sorer u'moreh just how far this principle extends. At an early age, the ben sorer u'moreh leads a life of complete debauchery, indulging in wine and meat. Rather than letting him continue in his ways, the Torah commands us to kill him while he is still young, and not yet caught up in the web of transgression.
"His father and mother shall grab him and take him to Beis Din." The Gemara in Sanhedrin tells us that we only apply the punishment of ben sorer u'moreh if both parents bring him to be judged. What is the deeper reason behind this condition?
The Torah is teaching us the magnitude of teaching by example. If this child's parents lived a life of marital harmony and are able to simultaneously make the decision what the best move for the benefit of their son is, then we can prosecute their child as a ben sorer u'moreh. Since their son saw a happy home, and still chose to lead such a life, it is fitting to kill him at an early age.
However if they do not appear in beis din together, this is a sign that their was strife in the house. Since the child did not see the example of what a Jewish home should look like, we can no longer fault the son for his degradant behavior. In this case, the Torah absolves the son from punishment.
The Joy of Jewish Life
Rav Moshe Feinstein commented that the downfall of Judaism in America in the early Twentieth century was the expression "It is hard to be a Jew." When children heard that they said to themselves, "If it is so difficult, what do I need it for." They dropped their Torah lifestyles, and chose alternate paths.
If a child experiences the joy of being Jewish, he will not feel the difficulty at all. A mountain climber, who is attempting to scale Everest, does not think how high it is. Just seeing the peak within his grasp, inspires him to climb further.
So too, a Jewish child who has been educated to strive higher in his Torah observerance, will feel the exhilaration of being Jewish. Every mitzvah that he performs will instill him with a greater desire to go higher. This feeling will provide him with the inner strength to overcome any obstacle that stands in his way.
Every Jewish home should strive to be a bastion of Torah and chesed. Divre Torah and zemiros at a Shabbos table together with guests, provide a living example of how a Jewish home should look. This is the biggest chesed one can do for his children.
Chinuch
Even if the parents act with exemplary behavior at home, this is not sufficient to insure that they will become righteous. While what they see in the home is crucial, we must make sure to give them a Jewish education which strengthens the ideas that they see. This provides them with a further example of how a Jew should live his life.
Recently, seventy parents from the city of Emanuel in Israel got together and started their own school of religious education for their daughters. The government felt threatened by these ambitious families, and arrested them for their behavior. They currently are standing on trial for their actions.
Such mesiras nefesh exemplifies how far we must go to make sure that our children receive a proper Jewish chinuch. We cannot be satisfied that whatever the system offers is necessarily the best. A concerned parent must make every effort to insure that his children receive the best Jewish education possible.
Sitting on the Fence
“You Shall be Holy to the Almighty, and you shall not profane His name” (Vayikra 21,6)
The Torah provides us with an ultimatum. A person can choose one of two paths – either a life of keduaha and holiness, or a life of tumah and profanity. There is no room for sitting on the fence.
The Chazon Ish was once asked what he found problematic about the Mizrachi movement. After all, they were guiding people who did not feel that they were able to live a life of complete emergence in Torah and mitzvos. What was wrong with providing a channel for such people?
The Chazon Ish replied that each person must strive to achieve the greatest possible level that he is capable of. There is no such thing as an entire movement which professes that the correct path is to remain mediocre. Such an outlook threatens the entire fabric of the Jewish people.
The great Gaon and Tzadik Rav Baruch Ber the Rosh Yeshuiva of Komenitz once commented, "My father wanted me to become Rav Akiva Eiger, and therefore I became Rav Baruch Ber. Had he been satisfied that I should be Baruchh Ber, I would have gotten nowhere.
Hashem wants us to be a holy nation. Keeping the Torah superficially is not sufficient. A person must follow the gedarim and fences set down by the rabbanim of each generation. This will insure that he will observe Torah properly.
Individuals who make a philosophy out of living in the middle, will not be able to tolerate the guidelines that the Gedolim lay down of how one should live a Torah life. They will start by ignoring what they say, and then come to mock their words. Under the banner of fighting extremism, these people will eventually wage war on the Gedolim.
All of the hidurim that Klal Yisrael has accepted upon themselves in halacha, have preserved the Jewish people throughout the generations. Gedolei Yisrael said that if our ancestors had just kept the basic halacha, we would not be keeping halacha properly today. The fences that were laid down, safeguarded the Torah, so that we should still be able to keep it today
(Rabbi Travis is Rosh Kollel of Kollel Toras Chaim in Yerushalayim and is the author of Shaylos U'Teshuvos Toras Chaim and "Praying With Joy – A Daily Tefilla Companion" a practical daily guide to improving one's prayers, available from Feldheim Publishers. Rav Sternbuch's weekly shiurim on the parasha are now available as a sefer entitled "A Voice in the Darkness". For more information about his work contactdytravis@actcom.com.)
